more tales of cabbies
So I’ve been traveling a lot in Casablanca, and for those of you who were around for my mass emails last time I was in Morocco, you might remember that Casa is my personal hell. However, other than a cabbie trying to pick my pocket as I got out of the car a few months ago, Casa is no longer such a scene of depravity, but rather comedy. With Casa trips come numerous cabbie stories:
Cabbie #1 is driving along, we chat a little, and then his phone rings. It’s his brother who speaks English so naturally he gets excited and says “I’m in the cab with an American!” and then hands me the phone. So I proceed to have a really awkward conversation with this cab drivers’ brother in English…
Cabbie #2 you really wouldn’t believe the topics of conversation that arise in a cab… somehow this guy started telling me about polygamy. Now mind you he was like 80 years old, massively obese, and had no teeth- with this picture in mind imagine him saying the following phrase “I know personally that while I am quite a man, I cannot physically satisfy four wives, it is just too exhausting!” and then I vomit.
Cabbie #3 lesson learned- never utter the phrase “I’m in a rush b/c I need to catch the 2:30 train” this crazy dude took that as permission to ignore ALL red lights. I’ve never been so scared in my life, it was like he thought he had the same permission as ambulances to just zip through except he didn’t have a siren, just an obnoxious horn. I was running through my brain trying to figure out how to say in Arabic “I TAKE IT BACK!”
Cabbie #4 and #5. Yeah, in a city with 7500 cabs, I got in the same one twice (I’ve ridden a cab in casa fewer than 20 times… you do the math). So the first time I got in the cab with this driver I told him the name of the association for single mothers that I needed to go to and he magically knew where it was even though it was really far away and in the middle of nowhere. So I started to call him ‘man who probably got someone pregnant and dropped her off at said association so he knows where it is’. Actually, I don’t call him that, it’s too long and cumbersome. It was also easy to remember him b/c he never shifts out of second gear, regardless of how fast he is going. So I got off the train and hopped in a cab and the guy turned to me and said “you’re going to the single mom’s association” which I thought was weird and then remembered who it was. Coincidence?
Cabbie #1 is driving along, we chat a little, and then his phone rings. It’s his brother who speaks English so naturally he gets excited and says “I’m in the cab with an American!” and then hands me the phone. So I proceed to have a really awkward conversation with this cab drivers’ brother in English…
Cabbie #2 you really wouldn’t believe the topics of conversation that arise in a cab… somehow this guy started telling me about polygamy. Now mind you he was like 80 years old, massively obese, and had no teeth- with this picture in mind imagine him saying the following phrase “I know personally that while I am quite a man, I cannot physically satisfy four wives, it is just too exhausting!” and then I vomit.
Cabbie #3 lesson learned- never utter the phrase “I’m in a rush b/c I need to catch the 2:30 train” this crazy dude took that as permission to ignore ALL red lights. I’ve never been so scared in my life, it was like he thought he had the same permission as ambulances to just zip through except he didn’t have a siren, just an obnoxious horn. I was running through my brain trying to figure out how to say in Arabic “I TAKE IT BACK!”
Cabbie #4 and #5. Yeah, in a city with 7500 cabs, I got in the same one twice (I’ve ridden a cab in casa fewer than 20 times… you do the math). So the first time I got in the cab with this driver I told him the name of the association for single mothers that I needed to go to and he magically knew where it was even though it was really far away and in the middle of nowhere. So I started to call him ‘man who probably got someone pregnant and dropped her off at said association so he knows where it is’. Actually, I don’t call him that, it’s too long and cumbersome. It was also easy to remember him b/c he never shifts out of second gear, regardless of how fast he is going. So I got off the train and hopped in a cab and the guy turned to me and said “you’re going to the single mom’s association” which I thought was weird and then remembered who it was. Coincidence?
posted by Laura | 6:41 PM
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